International Bible Teaching Ministries
Fit For Marriage
Question 1: I am now twenty-three years of age. Am I fit to marry?
ANSWER: Some people are ready to marry at a younger age; some at twenty-three, while others who don't mature properly should never marry. Although, we are not aware of all the circumstances, it would appear from your letter that you are mature enough to accept the responsibilities of marriage. However, a man who is mature and considering marriage will be sure that he will be able to support a family. More importantly, he will be sure that his marriage with the one and same woman is to last until death, and that it is consistent with the will of God in every respect! Please read (and reread) very carefully Matthew 19:3-9!
Question 2: Can a Christian marry an unbeliever?
ANSWER: Yes! In I Corinthians 7:12-14, we see that Christians may be married to non-Christians. Though it is not sinful for such a marriage to exist, it can clearly be seen that success in marriage is much more likely if both parties are Christians, i.e., if both are going in the same direction, having the same interests and goals in serving their common God!
Question 3: How is a Christian to be assured that he or she is not marrying one who is bent toward sin?
ANSWER: First of all, be a faithful Christian yourself; secondly, don’t marry hastily; thirdly, don’t marry solely for beauty or physical reasons; and fourthly, marry another “faithful” Christian who will place your needs and wants second to what God wants!
Question 4: If a man lives with a woman and does not pay the necessary dowry, what does he need to do in order to be baptized? Is he living in fornication? Should he be required to make his marriage legal before baptism?
ANSWER: If the payment of a dowry is a government legality necessary to satisfy the law under which the person lives, then it would be the case that the man and woman are not married. This being the case they are both in fornication. Therefore, both would need to repent prior to baptism as noted above! If the dowry is not a necessary legality to follow, but merely a custom, and all necessary legalities are met, then it is the case that the two are married and not living in fornication. However, if under this condition, the man had agreed to pay a dowry or led people to believe he would pay the dowry, then, before God, he has, if he has not paid the dowry, sinned by lying about the matter. Of this he needs to repent and pray for forgiveness. He is also obligated in his repentance to do what he said he was going to do in the first place, that is, he needs in his repentance to pay the dowry! Baptism without repentance avails nothing!
Question 5: If a man married a divorced woman, not knowing she was divorced, is he sinning?
ANSWER: Certainly, people should not get married without knowing the background of their future marriage partner. Failure of one to know about such a serious matter often comes as a result of not looking into such beforehand because they have put the physical before the spiritual! Why should one not be held accountable for entering a marriage relationship so lightly and without consideration of God’s Word? Surely God will hold a person such as this liable! Further, if one has been assured that a future partner has not been married previously, lied to and misled about the matter, and honestly believed that their mate had not been previously married, when the matter does come to light, that marriage must be dissolved upon that discovery!
It should also be recognized that a person previously divorced because of having put away an unfaithful mate guilty of fornication is scripturally free to marry under the proviso that he or she was totally innocent in the matter! In other words, a divorced person may be scripturally free to marry a second time if the divorce was “for the cause of fornication (Matthew 5:32).
Question 6: When I was in the world, I got my girl friend pregnant. What is now my responsibility to her and the baby?
ANSWER: You ought to make a decision to love and marry the girl, and to provide for her and the child, if she will have you! When she was but your girlfriend you engaged in sexual relations that God has reserved only for those who are married. By those actions you knowingly or unknowingly assumed the responsibility of a married person and have no right to walk away from and ignore that which you caused. Without doubt you say the child is your own. Paul, by inspiration, says that ‘if a man does not provide for his own he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel’ (I Timothy 5:8)!
Question 7: Is it good to marry someone who is not yet born again?
Answer: In I Corinthians 7:12-14, we see that Christians may be married to non-Christians. Though it is not sinful for such a marriage to exist, it can clearly be seen that success in marriage is much more likely if both parties are Christians, i.e., if both are going in the same direction, having the same interests and goals in serving their common God!